Norah's piano recital 2023.

Norah had her end of year piano recital and she did great! She was definitely nervous before, but aren't recitals just ripe for life lesson learning? I took piano lessons for ten years growing up, and I hated each and every recital, but they were good for me. That nervous, pit in your stomach feeling will definitely come to you at some, if not many, points in your life, and learning how to manage that feeling and push through and do the hard thing is a really valuable lesson! It's also a good lesson to remember that bravery doesn't mean you don't feel scared- they often go hand in hand! 

Norah, we are proud of you for diligently practicing and doing your very best tonight through the fear. Hearing you play piano is beautiful and we will always be there cheering you on!

Norah played two songs, and one was a worship song her and Kley played together. SO special!

Norah's tubes/adenoids surgery.

Norah had tubes/adenoids surgery a couple weeks ago! I will share a few details, but we chose to keep the long version in our family to try our best to honor Norah and her story/privacy.

We are thankful it was discovered she needed this, that we had the resources and ability to get it for her, and that it's done and past us. Norah has already made comments about how things sound louder and she can hear smaller noises, yay! She was pretty anxious leading up to it, but was incredibly brave surgery day. We listed her name on our church's prayer request list for that week, and it was absolutely amazing how many people reached out to her. People came up to her after church, called or texted, sent a note, etc. It was beautiful how many people were the hands and feet of Jesus to our sweet Norah that week. :) We love you Norah and are so proud of you!

Foster care update.

There's a Daniel Tiger song where Daniel is nervous about going to school and his parents sing a song about how "grownups come back" to help calm his nerves. (Can I make it more obvious that we live with young kids by talking about Daniel Tiger?) I get the point of the song, and I'm not trying to put down Daniel Tiger, but it makes me ache every time I hear it because it's not true for every kid. For some kids, the grownups don't come back, or at least not in their time frame or when they want them to. The people who are supposed to make them feel safe, loved, and cared for sometimes make them feel the exact opposite and for that, my heart breaks.

My heart breaks that foster care is necessary, but if I think about the depths too much it's overwhelming. I believe that Jesus is light and His light overcomes. Every time, even if I don't understand the timing or reasoning from my earthly perspective. I don't know why some kids end up in foster care, but I pray that whoever is in our home, for whatever amount of time, can experience a little light. Probably the most common phrase I hear about foster care is, "I could never do that." I do believe that foster care is something you have to be called to do, but I also think that many more people could be called to it if they would be a little more open. I don't say that to guilt anyone, but I say that because I feel the exact same way. I struggle with it. I don't feel trained enough. I don't feel experienced enough. I don't know what I'm doing. I often feel that I can't do it.

But, it's amazing the strength God has given us when we needed it. We can do harder things than we think we can. Sometimes Kley and I look at ourselves when we're doing respite and just whisper, "We're actually doing it!" God has used our yeses so far in ways beyond what we imagined. It's been hard, yes, and some kids have been harder than others, but there has been light every time. (For those who don't know, so far our family has done respite foster care for the last few years, which means that we are doing short term care for kids who are already in foster care, like when their long term foster family needs a break, has a crisis, goes on vacation, etc.)

Recently we did respite for a 6-year-old girl and a 16-year-old girl (not at the same time). I've been wanting to write an update for awhile, but it's hard to put what I feel about foster care into words. Sometimes Kley and I feel like we can't do it, but we just rely on Him and then we can. Sometimes we just whisper to each other, "What do we do now?" when something happens and we just do our best to figure it out. That said, I am so thankful for Kley and that we can do this together.

We did the 6-year-old girl first. She was more challenging because she acted younger than six, so there were more challenges with sharing, vying for attention, etc. since our girls were so close in age. Sometimes I don't feel like I can talk about foster care because I feel shame and guilt that I should be better at it, like if my heart thoughts were splayed out people would see that I'm a fraud. I know that that is Satan trying to attack and those are the times that I need to speak truth to myself and turn to Jesus. Neediness is a good thing. We can't do it without Him! It was particularly hard, for whatever reason, for me to be patient and gracious that week, but I'm thankful for the refinement of it. The first night we had her, she had huge, sad tears rolling down her face at bedtime because she was scared. They were quiet tears because she was trying her hardest not to cry, but I felt so deeply for her and sat with her that night and every subsequent night until she fell asleep. (I know that if this was a long term placement, that would definitely be something to work on eventually, but in a short term situation I was perfectly fine with sitting by her if that was comforting.) I can't imagine how scared she felt and how scared I would feel if I was placed into a similar situation. We can tell her over and over again that she is safe, but that doesn't at all make her automatically feel safe.

An amazing God moment we had with her was it ended up that her twin brother was staying with a friend from our church in our town who also does foster care. Regularly, they live much farther apart and don't get to see each other often. That weekend, they were able to see each other several times at the park and pool, and it was beautiful to watch. I truly felt that that was God in action organizing that and it was so neat. (These get togethers were done with the proper okay from all parties involved, obviously.) She also asked us during our prayers later to thank God that she got to see her brother.

When I asked the 16-year-old how much she got to see her family, she got tears in her eyes and said it wasn't often and that there were some family issues going on. I don't know what kinds of activities she got to do growing up, but she told us several times that weekend that she was having so much fun. Even a simple comment like that is a huge example of His shining light into darkness I think. These kids experience so much hurt, and what amazing ministry to even be able to take them to the pool and see a genuine smile on their face. She loved photography and had fun taking pictures with my camera. I found my old ipod and she loved listening to it, like seriously loved it and had music playing almost nonstop. It made me feel a little cooler because my ipod is super old and I haven't updated it in many years, so I was flooded with memories of college and high school and happy that apparently there were still a few cool songs left on it. A favorite God moment from our time with her was she loved horses and was so excited when we went to the youth fair and they had pony rides. I was initially scared because it was meant for younger kids and there was a 90 pound limit, but she so desperately wanted to ride, so we let her ask if it would be okay. The owner of the horses actually had one that was bigger than the rest (so it could handle more weight), that he was trying to train, so he wasn't letting the younger kids ride him. Since she had had prior riding experience, he said she could ride. Even though it was just walking around in a circle, she was so very happy. It brings tears to my eyes to remember these small moments back, because even though they are small they are actually huge. It meant the world to her to ride that pony in that moment. For that day, in that time, I'm so glad we got to witness God at work in letting that sweet girl ride a pony.

All those little light moments add up into a flame. I'm sure of it. We are so thankful that God equips the untrained and strengthens the weak. We don't know what we're doing or what He has in store for us next, but we trust that He does. It's amazing how He's made it so clear to us each time whether to say yes or not beforehand, which was one of our big questions beforehand of how do you decide what to say yes to? The conversations we've been able to have with our girls about showing His kindness and love are so tangibly real when a foster kid comes in. It's challenging for everyone, but the growth it brings is so good.

So we will keep going, praying that we can keep experiencing little flickers of light with whoever is in our home, that His love was poured into them while they were with us, and that it will burst into flame later in their life. God is big and God is working and God is good.

Everyday essence and smallest details.

Below is a passage from a daily devotional Kley and I are reading together before bed each night, and this one particularly hit home for me in this season:

In the matter of drudgery, Peter said in this passage that we have become "partakers of the divine nature" and that we should now be "giving all diligence," concentrating on forming godly habits (1 Peter 1:4-5). We are to "add" to our lives all that character means. No one is born either naturally or supernaturally with character; it must be developed. Nor are we born with habits- we have to form godly habits on the basis of the new life God has placed within us. We are not meant to be seen as God's perfect, bright-shining examples, but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life exhibiting the miracle of His grace. Drudgery is the test of genuine character. The greatest hindrance in our spiritual life is that we will only look for big things to do. Yet, "Jesus took a towel and began to wash the disciples feet..." (John 13:3-5).

We all have those times when there are no flashes of light and no apparent thrill to life, where we experience nothing but the daily routine with its common everyday tasks. The routine of life is actually God's way of saving us between our times of great inspiration which come from Him. Don't always expect God to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live on those common times of drudgery of life by the power of God.

It is difficult for us to do the "adding" that Peter mentioned here. We say we do not expect God to take us to Heaven with flowery beds of ease, and yet we act as if we do! I must realize that my obedience even in the smallest detail of life has all of the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it. If I will do my duty, not for duty's sake but because I believe God is engineering my circumstances, then at the very point of my obedience all of the magnificent grace of God is mine through the glorious atonement by the Cross of Christ.

June 15- My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers



While I wouldn't describe my life as drudgery and I am so thankful to be able to stay at home with my girls, this excerpt from this devotional was really good for me to read in this season. While I wouldn't trade staying home with my girls, there are a lot of things about being a stay at home mom that are the same every day, like the daily routine and the common everyday tasks. There was a moment this week where Kley got home later than I thought he would and I was trying to finish a project inside, but the girls were going wild and needed to get outside to play, and later when he came home I apologized for being angry when he arrived because in that moment I felt so stifled at home while he got to go out and experience the world. Overall, I am thankful to not feel that way, but in that specific moment I did. I'm sure many, if not all, stay at home parents have felt that way at times. While I don't always handle every frustrating moment well, I am so thankful for grace upon grace and the opportunity to be with my girls so much.

I want to build Godly habits. I want the everyday essence of my life to exhibit the miracle of His grace. I want to be obedient even in the smallest details. We have been talking with one of our girls recently about not responding in anger, that it's okay to feel angry but it's not okay to react with screams, growls, or unkind words. How convicting for my own heart as well- whether I react that way outwardly or inwardly. I often think too highly of myself for controlling my outward words or tone of voice, while neglecting to repent of the sin of reacting in anger inwardly.

What great responsibility we have as parents, whether we stay at home or not. I pray for joy in serving my family and obedience in the smallest daily tasks. Norah, Lucy, and Ellory, being your mom is a great gift and you teach me so much each day.

Dairy Farm Tour.

The girls and I got to tour a dairy farm and it was so fun! I think this is going to be such a fun summer. Lucy and Ellory are sleeping so much better than they used to be in their big girl beds, the hardest parts of potty training are behind us, and it's getting a bit easier to venture to bigger outings solo with all three. What a great feeling! It feels extra sweet because the last couple months were hard in the parenting sense with so much time in the bathroom and difficult/long bedtimes. The sun is shining (literally and figuratively)! :)

The dairy farm tour started off with a bang because we had to park at a nearby event center and take a bus to the farm, which the girls thought was amazing. We stayed for an hour, which was the perfect amount of time for the girls to admire the calves, stare in amazement at the giant cows, watch one be milked, get a tattoo and cow hat, and enjoy some free ice cream!

They had this practice cow to try your own hand at milking, which was a big hit as well. They got the hang of it pretty quickly!

Best of the group photos. ;)

They have 250 cows and each one gives 10 gallons of milk a day! They have this milking machine where the cows can also choose when they want to be milked. 

What a fun summer adventure! We may not have a lot of big city life things, but touring a dairy farm is a pretty sweet small town experience.

Here you can see when Norah and I went for the first time in 2016.

We love weekends.

We had such a fun weekend! My friend/roommate from college, Brittany, came to visit us, so we had fun spending time with her and showing her our city. It's so fun to show people the beautiful, unique place we live. Since it's such a small town, there are definitely some aspects that are very lacking compared to big cities, but that also means that we have some neat things that big cities can't offer. The quietness, ability to walk to so many places, and the fun local things are so neat! Our town really is great. 

We had a great time going to the park, on walks, to Pumpkinland (our local pumpkin patch/farm), Pizza Ranch, and to the indoor pool. We also frequented a few local stores and the coffee shop. We did more activities than we usually would do in one weekend because Brittany was here, but that's what makes having friends come so fun! The girls loved it. Also, a Pizza Ranch worker commented on how well and how much Lucy and Ellory were eating. I think it's hilarious and so adorable how seriously they take their buffet. Just like Kley. We don't go their often, so we go big when we do. :)

The girls really enjoyed the pool! Ellory has gotten so much braver throughout the summer at going down slides (both at the regular park and pool), and getting more comfortable in the water. We only made it to the pool a few times, because there's no way I feel comfortable taking them all by myself, so they didn't get as much water exposure as I would have ideally liked, but I could tell they got better with the few times we did make it! Lucy is so adventurous- she loves the water and has no fear with getting completely wet. 

Norah is such a great big sister! She is so kind to them sometimes it makes my heart swell. 

The three of them combined went down this little slide about 50 times. It was a hit!

My love language is quality time, so I really love family pictures capturing those moments!

Brittany, thanks for coming to visit us and for being a great friend!

I love Lucy's face in this picture, like she's thinking, "Why are you here and not my dad?"

Having twins is still a lot of work, but the first year was definitely harder. To all twin parents in the first year- you are amazing, He will equip you with the strength you need, and you will make it through! Boy, I feel like we are in such a sweet stage. They are so fun. Getting out of the house and doing activities feels so much more manageable than it used to.

Thankful for such good weekends like this one. 

The in-between.

This summer has been pretty great. We became aunt/uncle for the first time and the girls got to meet their first cousin, we had a great family vacation with the De Jongs, we have one coming up with my family soon as well, and we painted our kitchen/hallway/bathroom cabinets (which wasn't the most fun at the time, but so glad it's done!). In between those things, we've had lots of fun enjoying this summer with just playing outside and going to the park. Slow mornings at the park are my favorite. I had a mom tell me that she really missed mornings at the park now because her boys are older, and I know I will miss them when my girls are older too. It's the best to watch my girls have fun and to just enjoy the weather and being together. 

I am also treasuring this summer because it's so different from last summer. Last summer, Lucy and Ellory were still quite small, definitely not sleeping as well as they are now, and on a strict feeding schedule too. It was good in it's own way because it was a formative year for our family (and newborn snuggles are great), but it was also pretty hard in lots of ways. I felt torn between Norah and Lucy/Ellory, like I could only meet one set of needs at a time, but this summer is so much fun because we can all go out and interact/play together. This really is a sweet time. It's still busy, but not hard like the first year hard. We are in a good spot and so thankful for that.

I had someone ask me last week if I was ready for summer to be over, and I'm not. I do love Fall and it will be great when it arrives, but this will also bring a marked change to our family too because Norah will be starting preschool. I know it's only two mornings a week, but it's a big deal. She is excited and we know it will be good for her, but since Norah was born, I've stayed home with her. For two years and four months exactly (until Lucy and Ellory were born), it was just me and her together during our days. To have her not be here will be an adjustment for us all. It will be good, but still an adjustment. We pass by the church building where her preschool will meet at often on our way to the park, and Norah comments excitedly that that's where she will go to preschool every time. My first baby will soon be spreading her wings and leaving the nest a little, but my mom heart is glad it's only for a short bit and then she can come right back!

I took this picture the other night when Kley was out mowing and Norah went out to ride her bike. Lucy and Ellory liked watching them out the window while I made supper, yet they also desperately wanted to be big enough to go out too. All of my girls are growing up so, yet still need Kley and I too. Norah's going to preschool soon, yet still calls out for me in the night when she wakes up to go to the bathroom. She's learning how to write her name, yet she still comes running to me when she stubs her toe. She's starting to practice riding her bike without training wheels, yet still needs me to help put her doll's shirt on because she can't quite get the arms in right. Lucy and Ellory are walking everywhere, yet still need help getting down the garage steps. They want to be independent, yet still need so much supervision. They are saying new words often, but I still love their baby babbles. 

There are many balances, but today I am resting content in the in-between. I love that my girls are growing, but so happy that they still need me so much. Thankful for this beautiful summer season. They will keep growing and never stop, but today I'm glad Norah still needs me to help buckle her helmet and that Lucy and Ellory keep wiping smeared fingerprints all over the window no matter how many times I clean it. 

Motherhood is such a gift. These are the days. 

Ways to encourage moms of multiples/several young children.

Hello! I wanted to share some practical tips and ways you can encourage those moms (or dads or caregivers) around you who have multiples or several small children. These are from my experience and what people have done for us that I thought were so helpful and kind.

1. Bring them a meal. I totally get that cooking for your family is a big job that you have to do on repeat, all the time, but I think it's so worth the extra effort and cost to make extra to love on others. It's a very personal way to say that you care, and what a blessing it is for the recipient to not have to make dinner. I have several recipes that I always make double of whenever I make them, and then I can save the other one either to bring to someone else or to freeze myself for a later time. It's not that difficult and it doesn't take much extra time to make a second of something you are already making and have the ingredients out for anyway. Norah (my oldest) loves to help me in the kitchen, so this is also a fun way to spend time together, practice cooking and math skills, and to tangibly model serving others. I like to ask before bringing the meal if there are any allergies/strong dislikes and if they would like me to bring the meal hot and ready or ready to freeze or reheat at a later time. There were many people who brought us meals, both after Norah's birth and after we came home from the NICU with Lucy and Ellory, and it was so helpful. I will never forget the generosity shown to us during those newborn days. With all the newborn feedings, I was starving, yet had very little time or energy to cook, so having a hot meal was the best.

2. Bring easy to access snacks or baked goods. Maybe this is just me (I do have a sweet tooth), but when anyone brought any sort of baked good, whether muffins, cookies, bars, etc., it was amazing. Having a baked treat, especially when nursing, was great because I was hungry all the time because I was nursing all the time. My favorites to receive were muffins and protein balls, because they are already individually prepared so you could just grab one and go, and both of those options are a bit healthier than cookies or bars. I think this is a fun treat to include with a meal, or I sometimes just bring a baked item to a family if I just want to let them know I am praying for them during a difficult time, or maybe if it's someone I don't know as well so I wouldn't necessarily bring them an entire meal.

3. Bring something for the older sibling(s). If I am bringing a new baby a gift, I like to also include something for the older siblings. The new baby often receives many things, so it's fun to the siblings to get something too, even if it's something very small like chalk, bubble wand, hot wheels car, stickers, etc. Almost all these things can be found in the dollar section, so it doesn't have to be big!

4. Tell them they are doing a great job. I cannot tell you how many times people say, "Wow, you have your hands full!" or, "You sure are busy!" when we go out in public. I'm not offended by this, as I know they mean well and I just smile and say yes, but the times where someone has specifically stopped and told me that I'm doing a great job are what stand out to me. Hearing that I'm doing a great job is more encouraging to me than people telling me my hands are full.

5. Do something nice or lend a hand. Stop and hold the door open for someone with many kids or with huge strollers. Almost all people are very helpful with holding doors for me and I'm grateful for that, but there are occasionally a few who just stand and watch instead of helping. Our local grocery stores here push your cart of groceries out to your car and load them up for you, which is a tremendous help while I am loading up my girls into the car, but if you are at a store that doesn't do that, maybe offer to help if you're able! Or you could offer to dump their trays at a restaurant or something like that. I don't usually feel comfortable letting people I don't know hold my girls or do the child related tasks (and also none of my girls have never been open to going to strangers anyway), so I've always felt encouraged when people offer to help do the non-child related tasks like loading bags or taking trash. I don't mind if people ask to hold them or something and I just kindly say no thanks, and sometimes people say no to my offers for help and sometimes I say no do others offers, but I at least really appreciate the offer!

6. Go out of your way to do something bigger. I know this won't always work out with your schedule or whatever you have going on, but the moments where someone has gone out of their way to do something grander are what are so deeply encouraging and what I remember most. There have been several times where Kley was playing on the worship team at church, so I had all three girls by myself and he couldn't help, and there have been a couple Sundays where people really stepped up and helped me when I needed it. There was one Sunday where everyone was losing it (myself included), and Lucy and Ellory were fussy and Norah was throwing a complete crying fit and I still had to run back and grabbed my diaper bag, and this kind soul who I knew of but didn't know very well came and helped. She got my diaper bag for me, walked outside with me and helped me load them up in the car. There was someone else who brought us not one meal, but three. There was someone who brought us a meal after we announced we were pregnant with twins (they hadn't even arrived yet!), but this was also during the time where we had to travel for our trainings because we were in the process of becoming licensed for foster care, so her meal came on a perfect day. There was someone who was bringing us a meal who texted beforehand that she was running to the grocery store and asked if we needed any basics. That was so helpful! At first I felt bad, but she texted that she would really love to and to please text her some items, so she brought us a few extra things we were running low on in addition to the meal. Whatever it is, do something big if you can!

7. Offer to watch their kids for a date night, especially if they don't live near family. It can be hard to get date nights in, especially with the cost sometimes, but they are so important and so nice to have a break away together! It would be so nice to offer a family a free date night. Also, it would be nice to offer that you can come to their house or that they can come to your house (or take them to the park or something). Sometimes getting out is nice, but also sometimes having a date night in your own house where you can watch a movie in your pajamas in bed is amazing too. Maybe you could set up a swap night with a friend where you watch their kids for a night and then they watch yours. Even if it's something small, like taking some of their kids while they take one to the doctor is so nice so they don't have to take all of them with. One time there was a weekend marriage conference happening near us (we couldn't go because I was nursing), but someone from our church offered to anyone with young kids that they would watch them for free for the whole weekend so they could go. What a kind blessing!

8. Help with household things. Maybe you don't enjoy cooking, but maybe you could offer to mow their yard, shovel their driveway, trim bushes, do their laundry, clean their house, etc. Whatever your gift is, offer it! Someone from our local MOPS group offered to come clean my bathrooms several times when Lucy and Ellory came home from the hospital. (It never actually happened because my mother-in-law gifted us a bi-weekly house cleaner after Lucy and Ellory were born and it's AMAZING, but the offer was so touching.) Our friends had two foster girls for awhile, and a couple times I did their laundry. Whatever it is, there are plenty of small ways you can use your time and talents to do nice things!

A lot of these ideas can be used to bless anyone, not just moms with young kids, but these are some things that people have done for us over the years that have been really encouraging. It's a beautiful thing when we can be the hands and feet of Jesus to our friends and community around us!

The best me in what matters most.

Sometimes I think about ideas for blog posts, but then I don't have time to sit down and write them so they fade away, and/or I don't feel like I have the mental capacity to turn my jumbled ideas into intelligible thoughts. I love this season, but being mom to three girls (3.5 and 15 month twins) is high energy and requires lots of attention, so I don't have a lot of stamina left when I do get a quiet moment.

I have been thinking about the idea of "the best me" and motherhood recently in the last weeks, and it's funny because (without talking about it together), my friend actually just wrote a post about the same idea. I do feel like motherhood has made me the best version of myself, but there is a lot of expounding on that topic too for it to really make sense. It's something I think is true, but hard to describe.

In a lot of ways, on the outside, the idea that motherhood has made me my best is laughable. I wear my hair in ponytails way more than before kids. My wardrobe has drastically changed. I do like to "get dressed" in the morning, but why wear fancy clothes when I am on the floor so much during the day and going to end up with food bits and drool/snot smears anyway? When our twins were newborns, if I brushed my teeth before noon it was a good day. I am happy with my body and so thankful that I was able to carry three babies, but my stomach will never be the same again.

Our house looks very different. I am a stay at home mom, so there are many hours spent in our house. I try my best to keep it clean and I love a clean house, but wow, three small kids produce a lot of dirt and messes. If you come over unannounced (which you are welcome to do), be prepared to step around mounds of toys on the floor. All the sippy cups that say they are leak proof still manage to dribble out some drops here and there. There is almost always at least one load of laundry sitting on our table, whether it's waiting to be washed or waiting to be folded. At least one child needs something from me almost all the time. Cleaning up their high chairs and the floor around them after a meal feels like a full time job in itself. I also feel like I can't get the smell of poop out, whether it's coming from the trash can, a dirty diaper laying around I hadn't had the chance to throw away yet, or actually in one of their diapers. (How do babies have the talent to almost always save their poops for right when they get a clean diaper on? It's astounding.)

I love having a calendar, being organized, and trying to stay on top of everything. Before kids, I almost never forgot anything. I used to be able to just put something in the oven and not have to set a timer because I would just remember. Not anymore. I still would like to pride myself in not forgetting much, but it happens sometimes. The other day I asked my sister if they had looked at any more houses recently, when they had moved into their new house already and lived there for over a month. I was face timing her, in her house, when I asked this. Giant face palm. (To give myself a little credit, I had been up in the night several times cleaning up throw up before this conversation, but still, I was so embarrassed.) Recently at the park, Ellory had pooped, but it was one of those hard rock like turds that was just sitting in the diaper without leaving any smears. (Sorry, TMI alert.) In true mom-of-three fashion, I didn't want to get out the whole diaper bag and wanted to still keep my eyes on the other two, so I leaned her over the trash can (super discretely, of course), opened the side of the diaper, and let the turd roll out into the garbage. I am about 70% proud and 30% ashamed that I did this. I also really do like to be on time to things, but that's a rarity these days.

I really don't mean for the above to sound like complaining, because I'm meaning it as reality, and my days really are a lot of fun. While sometimes I feel like a mess, I also feel so much joy in this season. It's busy and loud, but that sort of chaos is beautifully rewarding too. I love being a mom. I love that I get to stay home with my girls. I love that I can be there for them all the time. I'm thankful for a healthy body to be able to care for and play with them. Being a mom has shaped, refined, and grown me in the best of ways. How dependent my children are on me reminds be of how dependent I am on Him. I am honored that He chose these three for Kley and I and that we are entrusted with their care. The love I feel for Norah, Lucy, and Ellory is so raw, whole, and deep. Our biggest prayer for our girls is that they would grow up to love and serve Jesus. The role we get to play in teaching them about Christ and modeling how to be a Christ follower is humbling. I get frustrated and I fail, but then we can talk about grace and forgiveness.

I will always be mom to them, but it's not lost on me that future seasons won't be as consuming as this one. My girls will always need me, but not in the way they do now while they are young. When I'm in a difficult moment, I try to remind myself that one day I will miss this. One day I will miss not having to snap little onesies anymore. One day I won't have to cut food up into tiny little pieces. One day they will all go to the bathroom independently. One day my girls can shower themselves and they won't need me to give them a bath anymore. One day they will ask to go play at friend's houses. One day they will go to school.

So, for all the one days that are to come, I choose to embrace these days. And when I forget, I will remind myself and choose again, for what a gracious gift He has blessed me with in being wife and mom. While I always have room to grow, I do feel like I'm the best me in what matters most. I'm so thankful for the rich blessing of my family. Oh, how He loves us.

Twin thoughts/update in words and photos!

I can't believe our babies are nearing turning ONE! What a year it's been. I've heard people say, "just make it through the first year with twins" or "the first year is the hardest." I, obviously, don't know if that's true since it's the only year we've ever done, but overall the joys definitely outweigh the challenges/adjustments and we are thankful for the sweetest babies! 

I will say the first 3 months were the hardest for me. It was really challenging to nurse them so often, adjust to a new life with two babies, and everything was compounded with the lack of sleep. That was the hardest part; I was so very tired. Norah also had a tough time for a couple weeks, which made it hard too. There were good moments spliced in there too, but overall it was a blur and pure survival. After 3 months, I felt like we were getting into more of a groove, I was starting to get more sleep (hallelujah!), Norah was adjusting better, things started to feel a bit more routine, and I felt like it was more manageable vs. survival. 

Most of the time, our days thankfully go pretty well. We have tough and overwhelming moments, but we are grateful that they are just moments. Yes, it can be hard to keep that perspective sometimes when things are crazy, but I try to remind myself often to enjoy even the crazy, because I know I will miss it when this season passes. 

I was so scared to be a twin mom when I was pregnant, and I'm so glad that we are where we are now. I love them so much and I can't imagine my life without them. I knew logically that I would feel that way, but it's hard to comfort yourself with that before just experiencing it through time. So, to any other twin mom out there- we've so got this! Yes, two babies can be harder than one sometimes, but we also get to live all the baby cuddles, smiles, giggles, etc. times two. 

I took these pictures to try to get something I can upload to their first birthday invitation, and man, I know I'm their mom, but are they cute or what? :)

Check out those teeth! 

Ellory is the happiest baby!

Poor Lucy with another bruise on her head. Although she doesn't view it that way- she's the wild child of the bunch and she loves it that way!

Love that little lip.

Lucy also drools like a fountain. Bibs all day, every day.

Then things started to go awry and we had to quit, but it went better than I expected, so yay!

I had to take a picture of Norah at the end, because she was so sweet in helping me try to get them to smile. (And I also don't ever want her to feel left out if I just take baby pictures and not any of her!) 

Norah is the sweetest mom to her dolls. Since we took pictures of Lucy and Ellory in this chair, she really wanted a picture of her twins too. I almost deleted it, but I'm glad I didn't. (After we took it, she exclaimed, "Look! They sat so still and smiled right away!" Yes, Norah, your dolls take photos a lot easier than the real babies. Ha.)