Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The best years of your life.

I was told last weekend by someone who is about 70 that these are the best years of my life. I do think that is true. I am so thankful that God gave me a great family, husband, easy to get along with in-laws, home to live in, health, daughter, husband's good job, the ability to be at home, etc. My thankfulness list can and should be quite long when I think about it. (Or not even when I think about it- I want thankfulness to naturally be what I think of!)

When I list out what I have, it seems silly and ridiculous to think that I would ever complain. I have so much and I am so grateful. But have you heard the saying, "the days are long but the years are short?" I've heard that numerous times recently in reference to being a parent, and mainly in reference to being a parent of young children.

I also think that is true. While I don't have an excuse to complain ever (Philippians 2:14 says to do everything without grumbling or complaining. How convicting is that?), I sometimes find myself doing just that, especially in January when it's really cold and we can't go outside most of the time. The days can feel super long when it's bitter cold outside and I feel trapped in. I long for warmer weather where we can go for stroller walks again and go to the park.

Norah also has a cold right now. That means I am wiping her nose a lot, which she hates. It also means that every time she sneezes, there is a snot bomb explosion and I literally have to sprint for a kleenex to try to wipe the snot rivers coming out of both nostrils before she smears it everywhere with her hands. (Doesn't that sound fun? There's an advertisement for the world to have children. Ha. But it's worth it. So so worth it.)

But I don't want to be discontent where I am. I fail at that, but I really want to be filled with contentment and gratefulness, even when I'm inside on this cold day wiping snot rivers.

On days like this I need to speak truth/think about thankfulness to fight off the negativity:

I am so thankful to be here. I always wanted to be a SAHM and now I am.
We have a warm house and don't have to be stuck in the cold.
We have warm clothes to wear and enough food to eat.
No matter what I am doing, I can praise and honor Jesus through my thoughts and actions.
It's a privilege to be so needed.
I'm glad I get to meet Norah's needs.
Her eyelashes looked to beautiful as she was closing her eyes when I rocked her before her nap.
Being so needed reminds me of how very much I need Him.

I don't feel like I am writing very eloquently, but I am just writing to remind myself today to keep perspective. Sometimes the days do feel really long, but at the same time I do love it. I know that I will look back on this time of my life with great fondness when I get older and I will wish I could rock Norah in her chair again. (Thinking of that springs almost instant tears to my eyes. Even if the day feels long or hard, I want it and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I want to embrace it because it won't last forever.)

Motherhood is such a roller coaster. One minute I can feel drained and the next I could weep at my love for her.

Ever since I became a mom, the song "Lord, I Need You" rings even truer to me than before. One hour I will be so patient and the next I'll feel at my wits end. I really and truly need Jesus every hour. I need grace and love every hour, so I can be the best mom I can be and show those qualities to Norah too. Motherhood humbles me so, but there is such beauty in that.

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You


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