Friday, November 16, 2012

Preparing my attitude for motherhood.

I have been thinking about motherhood recently. I pretty much always think about it since my dream is to be a stay at home mom, but work has really been making me think about it lately.

We are pretty short staffed right now. Fortunately, the workers we do have are awesome and do a great job of doing what needs to be done and making things work, but this has left me alone somewhat often recently. The state ratio for two year olds is 6 to 1, and I have six kids in my room right now (which has been a blessing to be lower for awhile because I can have up to twelve), so that means that if another staff member is sick and we can't find a sub, they pull my co-worker into another room, which leaves me by myself.

I admit, I have needed an attitude check sometimes when this happens. It's tough to be the only one in the room with six kids. (It's not always six, sometimes only three, four, or five depending on the day, but either way- can you imagine being all alone with six 2-year-olds all day? It's demanding.) It's hard when you are the only one. You have to solve every problem, fix every boo-boo, wipe everyone's bottom (I know, too much information, but true), blow every nose, clean every scrape, dry every tear, give equal attention, and pretty much be super woman.

I know I am not a mom yet, but I know that every mom is a super woman. I had (and still have) the best super woman mom of all time. There were some mannerisms that I said I would never copy of my mom, but I am pretty much a mini version of my mom, and I am proud to be. She is an amazing woman of God and is the best example I could ever follow on being a good mom.

(I have an amazing dad too, by the way- just throwing that out there!)

Being alone definitely makes you think about your attitude. Especially when you are alone, the mind is a powerful force, and a force that Satan will so quickly use to try and tear you down. It's so easy to think: "Your nose is running again? I just wiped it two minutes ago." "How could you possibly have three poopy diapers today?" "I can't believe you took her toy again, we've talked about this four times already."And so on and so on.

I pray every morning on the way to school that God would give me strength for the day to be an encouraging and loving teacher. But really I should be praying for that every 10 minutes, because I am a sinner and I need a lot of reminders. It's easy to become grumpy, discouraged, tired, angry, and frustrated, and those emotions seem to surface a lot more quickly when I am left alone to deal with it all myself. That's not who I want to be and that's not the kind of teacher my kids deserve.

But I am convinced that God is definitely using this time to teach me about my attitude and to prepare me for motherhood. The days will be hard, but I don't think I could do anything better with my life than teach, and someday soon hopefully have my own children.

The smiles and random hugs outshine the dirty diapers. Holding hands and watching my kids share trumps every fight. Seeing my kids trust me and learn from something I've taught them beats wiping boogers. And even if they wipe snot right on my pant leg, it's still a beautiful thing knowing that I have done something good today in loving on God's precious babies. :)

I love my kids- current ones at school and my own little ones I have yet to meet.

This is my beautiful mom and I.


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