Wednesday, May 21, 2014

When enough is enough.

Today I didn't feel at the top of my game. It wasn't a bad day by any means, just long.

I am a perfectionist, so letting something slip, forgetting something, or not feeling like I'm on top of everything I should be is a struggle for me. I don't like feeling that way. The most sinful, yet true, way to put it is that I like to appear as perfect as I can.

Not that being on top of your game is bad. It's truly not. But it can go too far. I also need to embrace the fact that I am a sinner, who does mess up frequently. It's true that I like to be organized and manage all that I have to do well, but I need to be sure that I am being that way for HIS GLORY and nothing else.

Last night I had my women's Bible study, which was good, but that goes later than my usual bedtime, and we stayed up late watching a show together because I wanted some time to connect with Kley. Then I woke up crying, 15 minutes before my alarm, because I had an awful dream. I was crying in my dream and I woke up actually crying. Not the best start to the day.

Nothing about today was bad, but near the end I just felt like I was doing too much. Especially with being pregnant, I need to do a better job sometimes of realizing when I need to call it quits for the day. Working 10 hour days can be long. I also went to the grocery store after work, and agreed to help a friend with something they asked me to do.

I am so happy that I was able to help a friend, but I admit that I was having a few grumpy thoughts as I was doing it after a long day, and I was feeling hungry, tired, and sore. Then Kley made an innocent comment, that meant no harm, about the noodles as part of dinner tasting different than normal, and I lost it and started crying at the table. (He honestly meant nothing bad, so thank you, Kley, for appreciating my cooking. :)

Also, as another side note, I forgot to print something that I sent my coworker to the printer to get for me. I also mixed up the date on the library books I was supposed to return last week. And I said that there weren't 31 days in May, which there clearly are. Oops.

I started the day crying and ended the day crying. But I guess some days are like that.

God is using this day to teach me that it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to know your limits. It's okay to call it quits when you need to. Thank you, Lord, for grace.

Sometimes you just need to realize when enough is enough.

And, thankfully...there will always be another sunrise in the morning. :)


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