Thursday, April 30, 2015

Swinging up and down.

Sometimes I let things pile up in my mind until I burst and have a cathartic cry, which isn't always the healthiest. (Having a cathartic cry can be, but not the piling up.) Like this afternoon. I love Norah so much and wouldn't trade her for anything, but being a mom is demanding, and I was feeling down about how selfish I was feeling. I know that I am not a bad mother and I do try my best, but at the moment I was feeling pretty awful. I wish I could be joyful constantly about meeting Norah's needs and serve her completely selflessly 24/7. Who wouldn't wish that? But, sometimes I grumble and complain in my heart and I don't like that. I need to remind myself that all I can do is daily surrender it to Him and try my very best. I'm definitely not perfect, but striving to be more selfless and joyful in my calling! We both wanted a baby so badly and are so grateful that she is here, but sometimes (more like far too often) in the moment my selfishness creeps in.

I also debated about leaving that entire above paragraph out and just writing the happy stuff below, but I also want to be real. 

Then, this afternoon we went to the park and Norah went on her first ride in the swing. It was absolutely beautiful outside and it was great to talk to Kley about things and enjoy time together. Also, Norah was adorable in the swing. She liked it! I hope to make many park trips this summer.

We also had a congregational meeting at church tonight, where we were officially accepted as members. Everyone prayed over us and it was really neat. And Norah did really great during the meeting. Always a plus!


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