Saturday, April 11, 2015

High Needs Babies.

12 Characteristics of High Needs Babies

I was talking to a friend, and in our conversation she brought up some "high needs characteristics" that her baby met/displays, specifically in talking about separation anxiety and leaving children in the nursery.

Her baby and my Norah sounded similar, in the separation anxiety realm. I hadn't specifically heard of the high needs characteristics, so I wanted to look them up. I really don't think Norah displays many of the characteristics listed in the article, but I definitely resonated with the "separation sensitive" characteristic. Norah doesn't like to be away from me. She warms up slowly, doesn't like it if I leave her, and doesn't like new people to hold her. (Sometimes it's crazy how much your children are like you. I was the same way.)

I actually really loved the way this article described it. I feel like people generally have a negative connotation to the term "high needs" or "high maintenance," but I don't necessarily think that's true in regards to babies. Every baby is different and every baby has different needs. Granted, some things your baby does may not always be pleasant, like night waking or screaming, but that doesn't mean that you have a bad child or that you are a bad parent. You do what you need to do to help your baby!

Here is one of the paragraphs from the "separation sensitive" category:

Your baby’s quality of being very selective about who cares for her shows that she has great discernment. High need babies know which situations and which persons they can trust to meet their needs, and they protest if these expectations are not met. Loud separation protests also reveal that these babies have a capacity for forming deep attachments — if they didn’t care deeply, they wouldn’t fuss so loudly when separated. This capacity is the forerunner of intimacy in adult relationships.

That makes me feel pretty good about Norah! Thank you to whoever wrote that for phrasing it in a positive light.

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