Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Kindle the fire.

I Didn't Love My Wife When We Got Married

I read this article yesterday, after seeing several people post it on FB. I encourage you to read it. It's very thought-provoking.

Ironically, after reading that, while I was on my run, two country songs came on my pandora "Keith Urban" playlist: Do I by Luke Bryan and The Hard Way by Keith Urban.

All of these things are talking about people looking for the passion they once had at the beginning of their relationship, or some variation of that. The article talks about how he didn't love his wife when he got married. He just thought he did.

I agree with the premise of the article. The way that I feel about Kley is very different than when we first started dating. When you first start dating, it's extremely exciting, nerve-wracking, and thrilling. But, unfortunately, that initial passion doesn't last forever. The honeymoon phase ends.

That doesn't mean your relationship gets worse, by any means, and this is where many people go wrong. This is why so many affairs happen, because people get "bored" with their spouse and think that there's no way to get the passion back, so they look for a substitute somewhere else. In actuality, after the so called "honeymoon phase" ends, this is when the opportunity for your relationship to flourish is at its peak.

I do not believe in cohabitation before marriage. I believe that living together, and entrusting all of ourselves- emotionally, physically, spiritually- is something that God intended for marriage. Not that you can't share yourselves in those ways, to an extent, before you are married, but it takes on a whole new realm once you are married.

I would never trade marriage back for dating. Ever. I am so thankful for all the wonderful and crazy little details I have learned about Kley since marrying him and living together. Yes, I loved Kley when we were dating, but it was a more of a feeling than it is now. Like the article said, love is a verb. When we were dating, I didn't have to work so hard at loving Kley. Sure, most days it's easy to love him. But what about when he does something annoying? Something gross? Something wrong? Some days you really have to work at it. Some days marriage isn't always exciting like dating usually is, but that's what makes it rewarding and worth it- putting in the hard time and effort makes your marriage great.

God led us together, and we chose to trust Him and follow His path for us in marriage. I choose Kley. I would marry him all over again any day. If you don't kindle a fire, it will burn out. The same goes for marriage- you have to keep kindling it to keep the fire ablaze.

Kindle the fire. It's worth it.


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