Kley passed the bar!!!

I'm not sure how many exclamation points would be sufficient to express our excitement (I limited myself to three), but KLEY PASSED THE BAR EXAM! We are so proud of you and so excited with you that it's over! No more waiting or studying! 

Kley worked so incredibly hard, and we are so thrilled to be done and excited for what God has in store in the future for Kley as a lawyer! We celebrated with the De Jongs/Guthmillers (Uncle Brett, Aunt Elizabeth, Grandpa, and Gramie)! 

(You can see Norah's enthusiasm in the photos as well. She was holding a chapstick to try to distract her, which she just put in her mouth, and then she's reaching out to try to grab it back.)

My best advice for new (first time) moms.

I have been to a lot of baby showers recently, and one of the most common games is "advice for the new mom." Then you have to go around the circle and say a little anecdote out loud and write it down for a little keepsake book.

One of my best friends is pregnant with her first baby girl, and she asked me what my advice is. That's a hard question, because it's so loaded. It's not like there is a three step process for becoming the perfect parent. (If only there were!)

So, I have been thinking about it for a few days, and here are some of my best pieces of advice. I wrote in the title that it's for first time moms, because that's what I am. I'm sure there are some similarities when you have another baby, but I'm sure it's also very different having multiple kids!

1. Just because your husband does it differently, doesn't mean it's wrong. This was one of my favorite pieces of advice that a friend told me at one of my showers, and I will never forget it (although I need to remind myself of it often). I am a very type A person, and my husband is not. It's a great balance that works well for us, but sometimes it also causes problems. Sometimes I am tempted to just do it myself, even if I feel stressed, because I like it done my way, even though Kley could easily have done it. 

I don't want to be like that, because that's not utilizing the wonderful partner that God gave me and it's robbing Kley of his moments to be a dad. Kley does some things differently than I would do it, but that's not wrong. Kley is the type of person who would willingly jump in the mud puddle with Norah and have so much fun, while I would be nervously watching from the sidelines thinking about what a great mess that will be to clean later. Norah needs both of those personalities!

Whatever your differences are as parents, try to embrace them. It is so good for your baby to have two unique parents because they each bring their own qualities to the table. Also, rely on your husband for help. Tell him what you need from him and little things he could do to help you.

2. When someone offers to help, don't be afraid to take them up on it. Sometimes it feels shameful or embarrassing to ask for help. You see other moms who appear to recover quicker than you or who seem like they have it all together. You don't have to be supermom- that's unattainable. Just do your best, and ask others for help when you can't do it all. There's no way you can do it all right after having a baby (or even months after). Let someone watch the baby while you take a nap or shower. Let someone else do your dishes. Let someone bring you a meal. After Norah was born, we were so blessed with lots of meals and it was incredibly helpful. One friend even asked me if there were any groceries we needed her to bring, along with the meal. I originally said no, because I didn't want her to go to the trouble. She texted back and said that she was serious and to please send her a list. So, she brought me some milk, bananas, and granola bars and saved us a trip to the grocery store. It was amazing and so thoughtful. 

3. It's okay if you don't accomplish everything on your to-do list. I love to make lists, and while I know that not everyone does, I think all moms have some sort of internal to-do list that they want to accomplish that day. Sometimes you can get everything done and you feel like you deserve a huge award for your accomplishments, and sometimes you feel like you barely had 30 seconds to brush your teeth that day. It's okay and it happens. Your baby is the most important thing. Sometimes they will have a rough day and demand your full attention. 

Sometimes I have to remind myself to stop and slow down with Norah. I love to play with her, but I also love to get things done (and I don't mean to say that playing with your baby means you're doing nothing), so I have to be careful to have a healthy balance between the two. Norah certainly lets me know when she wants my attention! Some of my favorite mom moments that I have had with Norah are when I purposely chose to stop and give her my full attention. It's good to let everything fall to the wayside for a few minutes for an extra cuddle, comfort, or smile. Those are the moments I will remember forever.

4. Try not to compare. This is a hard one. It's hard not to compare yourself as a mom and to compare your baby to other babies. Comparing almost always makes you feel worse and it doesn't build you up. Sometimes people, even friends, ask questions or make statements with the best intentions that end up making you feel bad. Just try to answer as friendly as possible and then let it slide. For instance, one of the top questions people seem to ask about your baby is how they are sleeping. It's a well intentioned question, but can make you feel terrible whenever people ask if your baby is really struggling with sleeping. 

5. Find what works for you. When Norah was first born, I spent way too long reading websites and articles about motherhood. That can be a good thing, but in moderation. It took months before Norah was on any sort of schedule, and I kept reading about how to get your baby on a schedule and looking at example schedules. It eventually made me feel so awful, like I was doing something completely wrong just because my baby wasn't like this other baby online. Every mom is different and every baby is different.

Research in moderation. It's healthy to read books and investigate your questions, but in the end you have to find what works for you. Norah really struggled with sleeping at night in the beginning, and she hated to be swaddled. We tried and tried, but she never liked it, so we quit doing it. I had so many people tell me "Have you tried swaddling?" or "I bet she would love being swaddled" that I felt like screaming at them to back-off. 

If may seem like you will never get into a groove, but you will. You really will. 

6. Embrace the moment. I feel like that sounds a little cliche, but it's good advice. Sometimes you may find yourself wishing for the next stage to come because your current one is difficult or the next one seems easier. Every stage has good things and bad things. Every stage is just that- a stage. Your baby grows so fast and you will never get the stage you are in back again. Try to enjoy every one as much as you can.

Norah's first sensory bin!

In case some of you haven't heard, I taught preschool for three years before we had Norah. One of my favorite things, and definitely one of the kids favorite things, was the sensory table, like below:

The sensory table was always full (meaning full of stuff and full of kids!). We put tons of stuff in it- noodles, flour (messy, but fun), rice, sand, water, corn, beans, feathers, pom-poms, flower petals, etc. (Depending on where you teach or what types of students you have in your class, some people/places don't put food in their sensory table, but we did at our school.) Then you can put any type of tools in to go along- measuring cups, funnels, rakes, shovels, tweezers, etc. The possibilities of what you can put in your sensory tables/bins/tubs is basically endless. 

Since we don't have room in our house for an actual sensory table, I have made Norah some sensory bins. Today we broke the first one out! I have a bin for each item, because I was able to buy them for pretty cheap and am able to store them in our basement, but you could easily just have one bin and switch out what you want to put in it (but then you'd still have to store the items you aren't using somehow and clean the bin each time). 

There are so many reasons why sensory play is important. Spending time stimulating their senses helps children develop cognitively, linguistically, socially and emotionally, physically and creatively.  I saw the benefits in my classroom everyday. It is calming for students who need a cool down, it's a good outlet for keeping their hands busy, and it's so fun! Our sensory table was almost constantly in use. 

This post definitely brings my "teacher nerd" out, but I love it. I chose pom-poms and measuring cups for Norah's first time because it wasn't food (so I thought she would not be as likely to put it in her mouth), and it's super easy to clean. Norah is 10 months, and she loved it! And she only put one in her mouth, so I consider that a great success!

Can't wait for Norah to use more sensory bins!

Aunt Karlie was here to play too!

Volleyball weekend.

Last weekend my parents and grandparents were in town for my sister's volleyball tournament. It was a fun weekend seeing family and watching Karlie play!

(She did not just shank a ball here off her chest, although it kind of looks like it. She was rejoicing after scoring!)

We love #3!

Recent reads 9/3/15.

Here is what I have been reading recently!

1. Kley and I just finished You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan. Wow, was it convicting. It was different than a lot of marriage books we have read before. We would definitely recommend. It definitely puts things in the right perspective and points you directly towards a heavenly mindset. It talks a lot about how your relationship with God is the most important thing- more important than anything, even your family and children. While that's true and easy to type, it's harder to live out. He talks about how family is an idol sometimes, and that is very true for a lot of people I think. Family is important, very important, but it's not the most important. They also talk a lot about helping each other have a better relationship with God, how to serve better alone and together, and how to parent Biblically. It's so good!

2. American Sniper by Chris Kyle. This was a different read for me, and several people said, "You're really reading that?" when they found out I was. It's about the Navy Seal Chris Kyle, who has the most sniper kills in US history. He had four tours. He talks a lot about what his different tours were like, and I definitely learned a lot about the military and guns. It wasn't something I would typically choose, but that's also why I wanted to read it. It was good, but I don't want to read it again, if that makes sense. It really makes you appreciate the sacrifice our military makes.

3. Unplanned by Abby Johnson- This book was really good. I would definitely recommend, especially with all that is going on with Planned Parenthood right now. She tells her own story of how she worked at Planned Parenthood for eight years (and was the director of the clinic for part of that time) and how God used her and changed her heart, which made her quit her job and she now is pro-life and serves with the Coalition for Life. It's a really neat story of God working in her life!

Creating a "yes" environment.

I feel like the title of this post is sort of cliche, and I know I've heard that term from some teaching class/training somewhere, but it fits.

Before Norah started moving, I had the extremely naive thought that I would just "train my children really well so they don't get into anything they shouldn't." I logically knew that wasn't truly possible, but a part of me still dreamed it could be.

Now Norah is crawling and pulling herself up on everything. Her favorite thing is to empty things or take something apart. So, needless to say, we have had to rearrange a few things.

It's easy to dream about the future when you haven't experienced it yet, and it's also easy to look back on your past thoughts and think it's crazy that you used to think a certain way. Funny how God works and uses your experiences, isn't it?

So, Norah has two different toy areas, outside of her room. One is in the living room, and one is in the office/den. Her living room area is close to the TV stand, where we had some DVDs sitting out on the little shelf underneath, easily within reach. It's also not close to, but in the same room, as the fireplace. Her toy area in the office/den is close to a bookshelf, where I had books on the bottom.

Silly me for thinking that would work. I went through a few weeks of trying to keep Norah away from those things, and redirecting her back to her toys often. Way more often than I wanted to. Children are incredibly perceptive at a very young age. Norah knows that by trying to pull off the books/DVDs, she gets my attention, which is what she wants.

She is 10 months, so she doesn't really understand what "no" means yet or why I wouldn't want her to play with something. So, this week I rearranged those two problem areas, and it's been a beautiful solution for the both of us. It's way more of a "yes" space than a "no" space.

Not that I am against saying no to your child. There are certain situations in which that is perfectly acceptable, and even needed. For instance, our fire place. Norah does the same thing- try to crawl up and touch it- because she knows it gets attention. I can't move the fireplace, and I don't want her to ever think it's okay to touch it (even when it's not on), because she doesn't realize when it's on or not, and I don't want her to get burned. That's a situation where I will say no and move her away every single time.

But, on the other hand, those two areas with the books and DVDs don't have to be "no" areas. Could I have left it the way it was and continued to redirect her away? Sure. And if that's what you want to do in your own situations, that's fine. For me, it's worked so much better for both Norah and I, to recreate the space. It's more usable for her, and it was a pretty simple fix to turn the "no" area into a "yes" area.

Mom/teacher friends, what have you done to make a "no" area a "yes" one?

Surprise at the fair!

My best friend, Stephanie, lives in DC and she is home working/visiting family in Des Moines for a week. At first, we didn't think we would be able to see her, but Norah and I ended up rearranging some plans and making it work!

We drove down Sunday morning and met up with our families at the Iowa State Fair and surprised her! It was such a great surprise and an absolutely beautiful day at the fair. Unfortunately Kley wasn't able to come with, but other than that it was a perfect day!

Norah is never lacking attention!

We love Stephanie!

The crew.

Aunt Kayla feeding Norah.

Norah is super pumped for the fair!

Norah wouldn't cooperate for a picture, but she gave Stephanie a present in letting her hold her without crying. 

Sky Glider.

Norah seeing a goat with Uncle Keaton.

Piglets.

A bad picture of the butter cow.

Family!

(Norah was a trooper! She had a rough time going to sleep, but other than that was perfect! She didn't cry once at the fair and handled short naps and long car rides so well. Way to go!)